Some Decisions Are Just Hard But Important

WHO: A lawsuit, Obergefell vs. Hodges. James Obergefell is a man whose husband died, and James couldn’t be listed in the death decree because his state didn’t approve of Same-Sex Marriages. Richard Hodges is the director of the Ohio Department of Health. (There were 14 other couples who joined in on this lawsuit who I did not name).

WHAT: Same Sex Marriage lawsuit. Five justices voted in favor of Same sex marriage and 4 dissented.

WHERE: The Supreme Court of the United States of America

WHEN: 2015

My thoughts:

When I read the Opinion of the Court as well as the words from the justices who dissented, I cannot help but come to a major conclusion for myself, and that is the US Supreme Court took too much liberty in judging in on this case. This is not for our high court judges to hear.  Instead this issue is for the legislative branch to decide. Here, we had 5 judges who were not appointed by the people, deciding on a matter that affected the whole country. Our founding fathers took a vote on matters like this. They argued and debated and conversed about the subject at hand, then they voted, the legislatures voted, not the judges. Honest good debate and community conversations, this is what we need more of. Where people feel free to talk about what they want without feeling bullied or disregarded for an opinion. Do we really want our judges voting on something like this? It could be a different topic next.

The opinion of the court, the 5 judges who voted in favor of same sex marriage, voted because of certain arguments. Some of those arguments are:

  • Marriage has always shifted and evolved over time.
  • Constitution, Bill of Rights needs to evolve with the needs of the people.
  • The right to marry is a fundamental importance for all individuals.
  • Legal marriage for Same sex couples protects families and safeguards them.
  • The current marriage law harms and humiliates children living in same sex households.
  • There were other arguments

Honestly, some of these arguments seem somewhat valid and I agree with them. I think in this day and time that we live in, we have many kids who just need someone to love them, and especially if they are in foster care; having any loving parent, regardless of gender, is a blessing. I also believe that children do better in society when their parents are married, regardless of gender. However, …

…. A mother and a father are needed to raise a child. I know this. I live this. I see the importance for both parents in my own kids, and I can see the devastation when either parent is not there. Kids do need love, and both parents can give love, but they also need a mom and a dad. My husband’s care and concern for my children does not make up for my impact on them. Two moms or two dads is not the same as both opposite genders raising a child. I know each parent will have differences regardless of their gender, but dads bring a strength that only a dad can give.  I do not want to give a list of all the differences, because honestly, any gender can have some of these characteristics. Some women are more masculine, and some men are more feminine, and that’s totally ok including in heterosexual people. In my own life, there is nothing like having a dad and a mom to support me and give me strength, each from their own perspective. Kids need the variety and they need both a mom and a dad to raise them.

Typically, though, there are differences in the way men think and the way women think, and we both bring those to our kids’ lives. My kids know me to be more nurturing of their emotional self, but my husband also nurtures their emotional self but in a different way; from a man’s perspective.

In the Supreme court hear case of the Obergefell vs Hodges case, the dissenting judge Roberts writes something that felt so powerful to me. He says:

“This universal definition of marriage as the union of a man and a woman is no historical coincidence. Marriage did not come about as a result of a political movement, discovery, disease, war, religious doctrine, or any other moving force of world history—and certainly not as a result of a prehistoric decision to exclude gays and lesbians. It arose in the nature of things to meet a vital need: ensuring that children are conceived by a mother and father committed to raising them in the stable conditions of a lifelong relationship.”

How powerful this quote seems to me. The needs of the children are what matters the most. Marriage between men and women, is formed to bring children into this world and to raise up another generation of healthy individuals who are productive and support society. Children need both genders for parents and then need all types of loving adults in their lives. When a child does not have an adequate dad or a mom, there is often a hole left in their place. I believe its important to make decisions for the betterment of the child.

God’s Law. I do believe that God does weigh in on these matters, and I just can’t believe anyone words, but a prophet can be the mouthpiece for Him on global matters or doctrinal matters. As a parent myself, sometimes an answer to my child’s plea or question is not what they want to hear, or they cannot understand my reasoning for my decision. In this regard, a “because I said so, sweetheart” must suffice. I hope my children trust me that I wouldn’t say no flippantly. That I do take thought and care into my decisions when they ask. And sometimes when I pray to God myself, the answer is no, and I don’t know why. And sometimes I get angry and bothered that I can’t seem to understand why God wont just tell me the answer. “No” answers are tough, and in the end, I must trust. Therefore, in the end, I really do choose what God has said regarding marriage between a man and a woman. It is with this last piece of information, that convinces me to support the idea/belief that opposite sex marriage is the vehicle God has chosen to bless His children (both children and adults) to learn and grow and help them to be a stable society.  

Works Cited

United States Supreme Court. Obergefell vs Hodges. June 26, 2015. No-14-556. https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/14pdf/14-556_3204.pdf Cathy Ruse. World Congress of Families, November 20, 2015. You Tube. https://www.youtube.com/embed/xVTHhQhFb8M?rel=0

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